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  • Writer's pictureShawna

Growing Pains

Updated: Dec 3, 2020

I’m finally back. It’s been waaaay too long since I’ve uploaded a video or blog, and for those who’ve been eager to hear from or see me, I truly apologize for being away for so long. I wish I could have been back sooner, but things don’t always work out the way we’d like them to. Life often has different plans.

As much as I'd like to share everything that’s happened since I've been away, today I’m just happy to be here and I'm starting with baby steps.

The world as we know it has changed. Where ever you are on the globe, Covid 19 has touched you. Whether we want to face it or not, we have no choice but to move forward with the changes. It’s not always easy and I’ll be the first to say that 2020 has been an excruciating year, but not without it’s own blessings.

The reason I say I’m taking baby steps is because I have been battling with a reoccurring fear of self expression. This is not easy for me to say, especially considering the fact that I’ve already shared quite a bit of my personal story on life in the Jehovah’s Witness cult, early 2019. You could say that this was a major hurdle for me to overcome, and I was so proud of myself for being able to speak up after only a few months in therapy.

As far as therapy goes, I’m not ashamed to say that I’m still getting counselling. 'The path to healing is not linear', my therapist keeps telling me, as I melt into a pool of tears over and over again. In fact, I’m now two years into therapy and it still keeps happening. Waterworks.

Then I have a few weeks of feeling victorious in my healing. And I think to myself, ‘wow, I feel so good, I’m healing so many wounds and traumas, I wonder how much longer I’ll need therapy…’ And then I crumble again.

Oh the growing pains, how I wish they were limited to the growth spurts of children, but they are not. The more I grow and the older I get, the more I realize that we are all on a treadmill of growth, for life. And the pains that accompany our growth only make us stronger, wiser and more evolved.

I’m looking forward to sharing more of my journey. This is so important to me and my sharing this with you, is helping me to heal in so many ways.

Thank you for being here and sharing with me. We’re all in this together and when we share, we help heal the whole collective.

I'm sending you only love and healing in these changing and challenging times.

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